How to make 235 lions stand up

The Penn State Alumni Association arrived today for The Big Game at Notre Dame. 235 of them were in the audience for Camelot. Here was my introduction:

"Good afternoon. My name is Richard Pletcher. I am the founder of Amish Acres and the producer of The Round Barn Theatre. Welcome Penn State Alumni to this command performance of Camelot, the classic tale of King Paterno and the Knights of the Round Table; the king who never lost a battle and ruled for an eternity in a happy valley where all of his subjects worshiped him and bowed at his feet.

I am here to tell you that as a lad growing up in the shadow of the Golden Dome, an all-northern Indiana first team halfback at Nappanee High School, with the nickname “Moose” bestowed upon me for my obsession with Notre Dame’s famed athletic director Moose Krause, and as a graduate of Indiana University, the Big Ten’s perennial football doormat, where I ran the IU card section enticing with free tickets barely enough students to make the “I” without the “U”; with all of these distractions and coverups, deep within my heart of hearts this “N” on my high school letter jacket has always stood for the Nittnay Lions." I then cued sound engineer Nate Rux to crank up the Penn State Fight Song at maximum volume. They bought it hook, line and sinker.